Rudolph Giuliani - Lust

Let the word be spread throughout the land that, ever since Bill Clinton cigar-fucked Monica Lewinsky, Republicans are the bastions of Morality and Decency.

Let us never question their Values as they are the pillars of all that is Holy in this country of Sinners. You won't find any Gary Harts, Bill Clintons or Barney Franks here. Move along. You can Trust them when they say they really want this country to become the Moral Center of the Universe. They walk that walk. I mean, if they lied about their Moral values, they would go to Hell, right? They wouldn't hoodwink people with religous banter to simply win elections, right?

Which brings us to Saint Rudy.

A man. A Republican. A legend. A hero. A blatant adultering cousin-fucker?

I'll let our Conservative readership catch their breath after gasping.

"How dare you!" cry the Right Wing, "This man is can do no wrong! He is a Republican hero! A hero!"

Very well. Let us hear the Mighty Rudy wax Biblical so that he will prove his deep aversion to those that go against the Faith:

A photography exhibit that includes a work depicting Jesus as a naked woman is stirring debate at the same museum where a dung-decorated painting of the Virgin Mary sparked a heated six-month legal battle.

The work Yo Mama's Last Supper features the photographer, Renee Cox, nude and surrounded by 12 black apostles. It is part of an exhibit of 94 contemporary black photographers opening Friday at the Brooklyn Museum of Art.

Another artist's photo collage depicts a topless woman, crucified.

Cox, a Jamaican-born artist who was raised Catholic in Scarsdale, NY, said the Last Supper image highlights legitimate criticisms of the church, including its refusal to ordain women as priests.

"I think what they did is disgusting, it's outrageous," Mayor Rudy Giuliani said, adding that anti-Catholicism "is accepted in our city and in our society."

Amen, brother. Spoken like a true Conservative. Never let Freedom of Speech get in the way of using religion to score some political brownie points. Those pesky Liberal artists have no shame! Using a beautiful, naked woman to depict Christ our Savior. She shall assuredly be crispy fried in Hell! Right?

Let us all cry in unison, "Rudy Giuliani in 2008!" Evangelicals rejoice! Dance in the streets! Call up Rush and shout the good news! Heck, why not just burn a witch for good ol' times sake?

Oh, yes, these are good times. But wait.. What is this I see? Oh my. Rudy better start getting used to Satanic tar fumes because, well, um, just take a look yourself:

Giuliani's first marriage was to his cousin and childhood sweetheart, Regina Peruggi, to whom he was married from 1969 to 1982.

Giuliani had his first (childless) marriage annulled, supposedly because he discovered that they were second cousins instead of third cousins!

Giuliani had discovered Donna Hanover.

Giuliani married Hanover, an actress and television personality who became Donna Giuliani helped him get elected mayor and became the mother of his children, Andrew and Caroline.

Still not content, Giuliani became involved with an attractive press aide, prompting Donna Giuliani to resume the use of her maiden name.

Then Giuliani became involved with his latest wife, Judi Nathan, an increasingly public affair that prompted Ms. Hanover to appeal to the Cardinal to help preserve her marriage.

Unsuccessfully.

Ultimately, Giuliani moved out of the Mayor's residence, Gracie Mansion, and moved in with a gay male couple until his divorce from Ms. Hanover was final.

Then he promptly married Nathan, in Gracie Mansion, with his successor, Mayor Bloomberg, performing the civil ceremony.

Incidentally, Gracie Mansion was the one place that Ms. Hanover fought to keep Ms. Nathan from visiting while she and Giuliani were still married.

An appeals court ultimately upheld an order barring Ms. Nathan from Gracie Mansion in October 2001, when Hanover was still living there with Andrew and Caroline.

Friends of Giuliani said he picked the location solely for its privacy.

In the eyes of his Church, Giuliani is not married to Judi Nathan and, unless he can secure an annulment, on only God knows what grounds, he's still married to Ms. Hanover, who remarried.

And that is from a Conservative news outlet. Uh oh.

What will the Conservatives tell their children?

Rudy is considered the GOP Presidential front-runner for 2008.

Corinthians 7:27
Hast thou been bound to a wife? seek not to be loosed; hast thou been loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

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